You’re Fired!

In two short words made famous by Donald Trump, Gizmo fires her stylist. And why not? The Donald has fired for less—though obviously not his hairdresser.

What this time? This cut makes her butt look fat.

In seriousness, the other day my cousin asked why I get my cat’s hair cut. For one, she starts scratching as her coat grows in, creating sores. Also, she does not like to be brushed and Persians have a hard time managing their coats by themselves.

Every time she does go in for a groom though, it’s like taking home a tiny little stranger. She looks so different, and so much smaller, it takes some getting used to. Sometimes it’s even hard not to laugh.

Fashion forward as always, this time she looks like she’s wearing showgirl-style costume, plumes on her hips. Her hair is shaved up so high on the back of her neck, her flat face resembles a plate. Big and round in front, a sliver from the side.

Another time, she looked like a rocker with a mullet and rat tail. And another, as outdated as Queen Elizabeth I.

But a few days after every haircut something strange starts to happen. She starts looking like herself again. Is it just me getting used to it? Or, perhaps my father’s theory is correct: the difference between a good and bad haircut is about three days.